Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Art of Hiving

My dearest Readers,

Quick question: What does a handkerchief, honey, bees and a woman's vagina have in common? Ah...that is the beauty of history. There are always hidden little secrets throughout history to be exposed (pun intended) by those most fascinated by it. We all know about really bizarre sexual antics people conduct today (do I need to name them?) Which is why it shouldn't surprise anyone that the Victorians had some really BIZARRE ideas as to what was considered sexually exciting or beneficial. One sexual art in particular was known as the Art of Hiving. It was specifically for virgins who wanted to remain virgins but wanted to experience ecstasy in its truest form without a man. Men be scared. Be very scared. Or rather...I should say, "Women, be scared. Be very scared. And DON'T DO IT!"

Curious? That's good. You should be. Any concept as to what this involves? I'm sure you have SOME idea, but instead of putting it into *my* words, I will allow you to step into history and experience it as someone from 1873 would have.

Here is the excerpt from Harper's Bizarre issue from March of 1873 chronicles:

"A table spoon of honey is dabbed on the vagina with a silk handkerchief. The jar containing the bees is then placed under the honeyed canal attracting the insects. I observed this ritual in the back room of a playhouse in Kensington. A young woman, who shall remain nameless as to conceal her good name, prepares to receive the four insects. Sharp stings yield cries of pain and eventually tears. The practice of hiving has been advertised as originating in the Orient as a way to receive pleasure whilst maintaining chastity. Advertisements in newspapers trumpet sayings like "intense ecstasy" and "superior than virile males." The Archbishop of Canterbury has condemned the craze calling it "Ungodly." The Queen has made no officially comment, but rumors circulate in taverns that midnight shipments of bee hives have entered Buckingham Palace..."

I have a feeling a man in the orient thought it'd be funny to mess with the Brits who were all freakin' uptight...It didn't take long before these circulating advertisements were considered infomercials gone wrong....needless to say, if a gal of those times REALLY wanted to experience ecstasy whilst retaining her chastity, it's called MASTURBATION PEOPLE. Aren't you glad we only have Twilight book/movie fads and not Hiving fads? Of course you are.
Until next time...

Much love,
Delilah Marvelle